Life is about making memories that last until better ones come along.

I'm struck by this strange thought that I just had, and I feel inspired to poke around the inside of my head (via blog post) until something more tangible comes out.

For one, memories are fleeting. We find it harder and harder to remember things the further into the past they occur. The more unique, unexpected, or profound the memory is, the stronger we retain the ability to remember it. And while technology gives us the ability to add tangibility to our memories (I'm a photographer, guess what a lot of my memories are made of?), it's not like we can always treat these things as eternal.

In this regard, I am quite grateful. My life has followed a fairly consistent and steadily-increasing level of "happiness" for years, so much so that I have a difficult time remembering much of anything about high school and beforehand. That's how much more "fun" life has been for me these past few years.

I mean c'mon, how could you not have fun when your passion involves spending a lot of time with a diverse cast of characters in a realm of creative bliss? That's what photographing the music scene is like for me. Sure I don't make any money at it (at least not yet), but I'll be damned if it isn't what I want to do for a long, long time.

I've made so many incredible memories through shooting music and being at shows, but as time goes on I find that most of my older photos just don't carry the same weight they used to. There will always be a few photos that never die, but who's to say that I won't someday capture something that tops even the epic-ness of that or other photos I tout as amazing?

Perhaps that is what drives me to always be at shows, looking to outdo even my own best work. But this is the kind of mentality that has killed many a person (Michael Jackson comes to mind in a sense) when really all I want in life is to be happy and make other people happy with what I do.

If it were possible to truly separate the need for constant self-improvement from happiness, perhaps we'd all be living as Buddhist monks. But this is where the memory factor comes in. As time goes on, that which is "now" becomes then. "Then" becomes older, less tangible, further alienated from the life we live in the "new" now, even if our level of contentment remains. We inevitably either long for a better "now" or for it to be more like "then". (Is this where the liberal/conservative line separates?)

Truly, competition is the enemy of contentment. Time itself has become a competition of sorts. It's like we're asked to play a game... it's called "Fulfill all of your ever-changing dreams as fast as you can before you die." Has anyone ever won? Perhaps, but were we granted immorality we'd inevitably raise the bar into infinity over the course of eternity.

On the bright side, raising the bar is largely a sign of progress. And as our standards rise, that which falls by the wayside doesn't remain as ever-present in our memory. But we also find ourselves locked into a need to reach that next level, which only begins the cycle anew.

I'm going to abruptly cut off this blog entry and begin working on a relevant follow-up regarding the 4th of July. Why? Because if I keep going on this one you're never going to be able to read it all. Shame on me for writing novels I suppose, but those who truly know me know I always have a lot on my mind. I just want to make it easier for you (and I) to digest...